My Doggie Dream Team

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 I must admit I was surprised when my internet search for “doggie dream team” was unhelpful unless I wanted to compete in the Iditarod.  It seemed obvious to me to combine two of my great passions: dogs and dream team competitions.  For those uneducated readers, a Dreamteam competition is the pinnacle of online sports entertainment and in most cases far more interesting than the actual sport itself.  My passion began in high school creating teams for the Football World Cup and European Championships.  However since the AFL Dreamteam competition came into fruition it has surpassed all others as AFL (Australian Rule Football) is a game that produces brilliant statistics, perfect for online competition between mates.  Put simply, each player creates a team of players from all the available clubs to create their individual “dreamteam” that plays against those created by their mates and colleagues in a season long competition.  What ensues is scary.....lengthy discussions of possible trades, far too much time spent analysing player statistics and even more time wasted following the matches as our players rack up their scores for the round.  All in all a superbly fulfilling waste of time.

I thought it was about time I put together my doggy dream team............

Every great team starts with a solid fullback – a Staffy was the obvious choice.  Not the tallest of canines but the Staffordshire Terrier can run all day and isn’t afraid of a bit of argy-bargy.  He has an uncanny ability to annoy the opposition into missing their shot on goal.

My half back line centres on the Labrador who will run himself into the ground for the team providing he doesn’t put on too much weight during the off season.  To help him run the ball forward I have the flavour of the month – a couple of well groomed designer crosses.  Groodle, schnoodle, cockapoo, whippador (the little known Whippet X Labrador which is an amazingly versatile dog...yes it’s possible I have one), take your pick. Often maligned these guys are rock solid under pressure and worth their denting of the salary cap.

In some regards the midfielders picked themselves.  I needed superbly athletic and mobile but tough canines. The obvious choice was to take the classic working dog trio of Australian Cattle Dog, Kelpie and Border Collie.  The Cattle Dog is hard as nails aka Ablett Jnr or Buckley while the kelpie has a little more finesse in the style of Andrew Mcleod (think Messi if the round ball is your thing).  The Border Collie is my Chris Judd although in my team doesn’t quite have the psychological stability to be captain. (I wrote this blog before the “chicken wing” incident so feel free to be annoyed with this analogy)  These three have a work ethic second to none.

For ruck duties I had a few options but went with a Great Dane….a little old school I know but he’s tall and does the job.

On the wings I chose a whippet and a greyhound.  Set these guys on go and they take the ball to the forwards with amazing speed.  On the downside they are a little prone to injury as they often fail to see the opposition and run straight into them.  Oh, and make sure no spectators bring their pet rabbits to the stadium.

At centre half forward I have picked the closest thing I could get to Buddy Franklin...amazing on it’s day but incredibly unreliable the German Short Haired Pointer slots in perfectly.  The GSP is flanked by a Jack Russell who has turned out to be an amazing goalsneak...and yes he is almost as annoying as Steven Milne.  On the other side is a white fluffy…Maltese-Shitzu….Bichon….Westie…any combination of these would work.  Let’s face it they’re really just in the team to appease the masses.

My full forward is a German Shepherd.  Controversial I know but I figure he is scary enough to deal with those pesky rookie fullbacks while at the same time being athletic and an accurate kick for goal (possibly…..I haven’t researched that bit fully).

There are some honourable mentions that didn’t make the team for one reason or another:

Rottweiler – showed great potential as a youngster but was hampered by knee injuries and never went on the make the big stage. 

Pug – Full of heart but never quite grew to full size and couldn’t run to the centre square without getting puffed.

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel – lovely dogs but no real relevance in this situation.

Golden Retriever – his brother the Labrador stars at half-back but unfortunately the Golden Retriever could never quite reach the same level.

 

So there it is, my doggie dream team.  I realise some of the inclusions are up for debate and are likely to offend some readers but that’s ok and I welcome any suggestions to help me refine my team for next season.  After all, winning a dreamteam competition is the pinnacle of any sports fans’ career………….


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Comments

  • Sorry Rhys but I have to tell you your DDT is not complete without a Min Pin as a wingdog - almost as fast as a whippet but with much more staying power.

    Posted by Jan M, 23/09/2012 9:48am (5 years ago)

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